ENDING ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

[Lucinda F. Boyd]

Most of us find ourselves in some type of relationship pattern, good or bad. Sometimes, however, ending a relationship we know we need to get out of seems close to impossible. Check out these warning signs that you may need outside help, or an intervention of sorts, to get out and stay out – once and for all:

1. You leave your partner repeatedly, yet always return against your own best judgment and/or the advice of family and friends.

2. If you try to leave, you partner threatens you, your children, family, friends or pets.

3. Your partner is violent with you, your children and has a tendency to destroy items when angry.

4. Your partner pressures you sexually, or forces sex against your will.

5. Your partner humiliates you or openly engages in affairs.

6. Your partner controls your finances and freedom to the point that you have little to no independence or personal choice.

Points to keep in mind:

1. There’s no such thing as being abused “just a little.” Abuse is abuse is abuse!

2. It’s only happened one or two times – studies and personal experience show, in almost all cases, abuse continues and most likely escalates over time. It doesn’t just go away or magically get better.

3. Even in cases where no physical or sexual violence has been present, mental , verbal and emotional abuse can be just as detrimental, and is often more difficult to understand and heal.

There is a way out of an abusive relationship, and most often we need extra support to get out and stay out.

Resources:

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Resources by State @ http://www.ncadv.org/

National Domestic Violence Hotline @ 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) – A crisis intervention and referral phone line for domestic violence.